Can you believe I've been a dog trainer for almost TEN years and I only got a dog for the first time four months ago? I held a lot of negative beliefs about myself, who I was as a professional, who I'd be as a dog owner, I had a lot of mental health issues, a lot of trauma I had to work through, etc. etc. and I never allowed myself to even think about getting my first puppy for all of these years. I wanted to work with an ethical breeder (I still do!), I wanted to wait for the perfect time (2025 is not it, my best friend is getting married this year, I have a trip to Finland coming up in June, I'm not "rich enough" for a dog), and I still wanted to figure out what the best breed was for me. I had been considering a Mudi for a really long time after working with one and falling in love with him - love you Obi - but I can talk myself out of everything if I put my mind to it!
And then one day my best friend starts fostering this cattle dog mix and my dumb ass sees a picture of him in a shopping cart and my brain felt funny. I knew from that moment I might want to adopt him but I also knew I never in my life wanted a cattle dog because I'm not certifiably insane and I don't hate myself that much, but something about him did strike me, and his name was BAGEL. I was born in New York after all. So I spent the next 3 weeks trying to talk myself out of it, talking to people who knew me, people who had cattle dogs, who knew my lifestyle. Trying to get people to talk me out of it. Except every single person I talked to was so incredibly excited for me and egging me on which was... nice... and annoying. Because why wasn't anyone telling me not to get a dog? Why was everyone so excited for me? Why was everyone telling me I actually had a cattle dog lifestyle when I was so convinced I didn't?
So I went to Cory's house (my best friend, his foster mom) to meet him to see... I dunno... if we "clicked". Everyone says "when you know you know!!". People always talk about instantly knowing when they meet their dog, and I'm pretty sure everyone's a fucking liar. I did not know. I didn't bond to Bagel for at least 5 weeks after adopting him. I liked him a lot. He was fun to work with, to train. He had a built-in off switch which was the only reason I convinced myself I could handle a cattle dog mix. My best friend, another trainer, was fostering him, which meant I didn't have a rescue or a shelter buttering up his personality and potentially lying to me to market a dog and get him out of the system, so I could trust Cory's perception of who he was as a dog. I needed a dog I could adventure with, but also one I could do absolutely nothing with, both are equally important to me.
I had a panic attack the day after I filled out the adoption application. I've never made a life-altering decision since the day I decided to start my business, so what did I actually just do? What if the rescue turned me down? What if some outside force decided I wasn't actually good enough? I mean long story long I obviously got approved after one of the most annoying processes known to man and the Bagel-man is mine.
BAGEL IS HOME!!
The next 5-6 weeks were... interesting. I knew the hardest part for me was going to be the change in routine. I don't do well with change. I wasn't going to be bringing Bagel to work with me immediately and we didn't immediately bond and he didn't feel like mine for a really long time so he just felt like work for... forever. He was shoving everything he could in his mouth and SWALLOWING. I shouldn't know what my dog's tongue feels like but I got very comfortable and familiar with the entire inside of my dog's mouth very quickly.
I absolutely loved training with him though. He caught on to things very quickly. After 2-3 iterations, he knew what to do. And I knew what to do! This is my job. I knew how to set him up for success every step of the way. He only had 1 accident in the house because I over watered him. He never (and still hasn't!!) destroyed anything in my house, he got acclimated to my sister's cats quite well, I put an end to his puppy biting pretty quickly (for me, my sister refused to do any corrections so he's still a menace to her but... that's her issue), and overall, he was very easy. But... he was still a puppy.. and annoying, and I was not handling the change in my routine well. I was overwhelmed by feeling like I was working 24/7. So yeah, of course, I had a few breakdowns where I had my saving grace - THE CRATE.
I think about this on a weekly basis, STILL, about how many puppy owners refuse to use a crate, refuse to tether, refuse to use ex-pens, refuse to use a leash inside the house, etc., and how are y'all not committing yourselves? Because all of these things are giving me the stable adolescent dog I have today. My dog chooses his crate more than 50% of the time if we are hanging out in my room. That crate gave the space to put my puppy in there, and go downstairs and have a mental breakdown and cry to my sister when I was so overwhelmed because my dog just grabbed another mouthful of leaves outside and tried to swallow all of them instead of pooping. Disregarding all of the other amazing benefits that a crate offers, just for the singular benefit of you need your own personal space, why are you not giving yourself a break from the shark teeth mess that is a puppy? Help yourself!!!!!
Things started to get a lot easier when I could bring Bagel to work with me, he was fully vaccinated, he could meet the pack, and he had started to mature a little bit more. He's still an adolescent fool, don't get me wrong, but being able to mentally and physically fulfill my dog while I'm working PLUS finally bonding with him have made the world of a difference. Let's be real, the timing of when I got him was awful, I've had to set a lot of boundaries with my family because they're all morons with how they interact with him, mostly my dad, and that means I've had to do a lot more advocating for his space than I anticipated. I have literally stopped allowing my dad to interact with him because things are delicate right now and I won't allow my dog to be set up for failure and I won't put myself or my dog in that situation. And that may seem harsh and that may seem dramatic to some, but I know too much to do any differently, and I want so much for Bagel
What I've Learned
Everything that every non-professional (my family) questioned me about, told me I was crazy for doing, what have you, really set Bagel and I up for success and will continue to set him up for success and make him a well rounded and balanced adult dog. If you're bringing home a puppy soon, or have one now, here are some of my biggest pieces of advice for you;
Keep your dog on a leash inside your house at all times. If they're not in a crate, in an ex-pen, behind a baby gate, or somehow contained, keep them tethered to you. Your puppy is too young and your house, apartment, wherever you live is too large, and they don't know what decisions are good decisions to make, so you have to show them. This is how I got a cattle dog who wasn't destructive, who chewed on appropriate items, who only had one accident because I over watered him or when he ultimately ended up having a UTI. Raising a puppy should not be rocket science if you set your puppy up for success. If you give your puppy access to your entire living space, they will get into everything. When your puppy is starting to respond to verbal cues, play around with dropping the leash, then play around with removing the leash. I took the leash off inside around a month after bringing Bagel home, but it will be different for every dog! This will also help tremendously with potty training!
The crate is your best friend - Bagel came to me crate trained (praise). If your dog is not already crate trained, work on this immediately. Susan Garret has some wonderful crate games for a very reasonable price. I did a rotation of 2 hours in the crate, 1 hour out, but I found that when Bagel started chewing on the cat toys (inappropriate chewing) or started getting really rowdy, that was an indication to me that he needed more rest, so into the crate he went. Puppies (and all dogs!) need more rest than you think. The crate is a fantastic place to give your dog that rest. If you think you're doing too much crate time, you're not. You can always test more time out as your dog gets older. Bagel spends most of his time out of the crate now that he is around 8 months old.
Start desensitizing your dog to EVERYTHING, and I mean everything. The vacuum, their feet being touched, the vet's office, the nail clippers, the nail grinder, toothbrush, grooming tools, leash pressure, anything that is going to be a regular occurrence, or anything weird that you could possibly think of that could ever happen in their life, start working on it now. Sometimes I'll just play around with different parts of Bagel's body (maneuvering his eyelids, pretending I'm going to draw blood, lifting his tail, grabbing his collar, lifting his leg weird) doing whatever, so in case I need to do these things in an emergency, he's prepared. Now is the time to do it.
I can't stress enough how easy it is to train a puppy. I had a period of about two weeks where I honestly was just so angry at every person on earth who gets a puppy and didn't do any training because of how easy it was to train Bagel. He still is so easy to train. Some things, like grabbing and object and holding onto it, are more difficult for him, because he wants to chew everything in sight, but once you find what your dog is motivated for, training is so much FUN. Now, of course, I say this knowing it's my job, and I'm passionate about it, and I know things so objectively, I can problem solve very easily. So what comes very easily to me doesn't come very easily to every day dog owners, but there are so many free resources out there. YouTube is a wonderful place. I want my dog to think I'm the most exciting thing on Earth and to always come back to me, despite the distractions, so that has been one of my main focuses since day one (as well as building on his off-switch!)
ADVOCATE FOR YOUR DOG - this one is hard. I preach this a lot to my clients and I found myself struggling a lot to do so with my own dog. I had a few bad experiences at a vet I chose and I literally froze up. I couldn't speak, I didn't like how they were physically handling Bagel so I just threw down my treat pouch in a pathetic attempt at helping my dog. Long story short, I switched vets. I trusted my gut enough to do that, and I'm so glad I did! I had a great conversation with the vet tech about my last vet and why I was stepping in so much and she talked me through how this vet works and she gave me really great feedback about how I was working Bagel (how I could improve!!) and how she and this vet understand behavior. Speaking up is hard, but necessary for the welfare of your dog. If you need help, bring along a friend. The mental state and well-being of my dog will always trump someone else's feelings. If I have to cry while I'm doing it I will, but honestly, fuck someone else's feelings. You won't ruin my dog because of your own agenda. And now my dog is in better hands because I trusted my gut and got him into a better clinic.
For the love of god - don't depend on a dog daycare or the dog park for relief when you're feeling overwhelmed. I understand the urge and the desire. You're stressed, your puppy is driving you insane, and you need to get that energy out!!! You want socialization!! You've heard that you're supposed to do that, right?? You are, but these are a direct funnel for reactivity and the momentary relief isn't worth the thousands of dollars and years of frustration and angst you'll feel when your dog inevitably becomes reactive. Focus more on creating neutrality and fulfilling their needs, I promise it's not worth the anguish.
Now What?
There are still feelings of inadequacy that pop up. Should my dog be perfect? Hell no, he's an adolescent Cattle Dog Jack Russel Terrier mix - he will literally be a disaster until the day that he dies and I am an insecure(ish) person who never feels good enough. I am always striving to be better - that is what makes me good at my job. I always want to learn more and to do better for my dog and for my clients. I don't have a huge ego, which I'm grateful for. If I get a huge ego just put me down. I don't want to be one of those trainers for the love of GOD. I have too much trauma from trainers with big egos. But Bagel? Damn... he's pretty damn good. For being what he is? I've done a damn good job. I try to remind myself that if he had landed in any other hands he might be more of a menace. And I don't say that to be big headed I just say that to be realistic. His DNA mix is INSANE and I've seen so many of these cases to know what I'm up against. I am insane for adopting this dog but that is what makes us a good team. He has made me such a better trainer for it. I can relate to and empathize with my clients on so many other levels now because I know what it's like to live with a crazy fool who takes up so much of your brain space and your time. I know what it's like to wanna strangle yourself because of a tiny creature but also if anyone else said that about your dog (except for a select few) you'd be mad at them. I'm so happy that I finally allowed myself to get a dog, because crazy little Bagel is such a gift and I hope you all get to meet him one day.
Getting My First Puppy - More Resources
Want more? Don't fret - there is plenty more reading for you to be doing and more puppy pictures. My instagram has a highlite dedicated to Bagel and some of the early training I did with him when I first brought him home, you can see that here.
You can also download some free guides on my website. There is a potty training guide here and a new puppy guide here.
Listen, raising a puppy is hard because they're filled with sharp teeth and no brain cells, but it doesn't have to be difficult. Set you and your puppy up for success so that you don't have to voluntarily (or involunatrily) commit yourself. Don't fall trap to the doggy daycare or dog park crowd because then you'll be paying me thousands of dollars to try to fix your dog's reactivity, it's not worth the momentary relief you get from the woes of puppydom. You can do this!! You don't have to be a professsional dog trainer to do it right.
You can do this!
Love,
Courtney and Bagel
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